Now that that's out if the way, lets get to it. My husband recently told me that more intelligent people stay up late. I'm not positive on this, but here's hoping. I mentioned it to him again yesterday, referring to it as a theory, and his words were, "It wasn't a theory, it's a fact". Which then was followed by, "I don't stay up late but I'm smart too".
Bless the "too". He's so eager to always win. Even in smarts. Don't tell him, but he's way smarter than I am. He's just too dumb to know it.
I had the most wonderful weekend. Today is Friday/Saturday, so it's been a week since I've been home from my visit "home". We stayed with my mom and Dustin came home and stayed there too. I was so tired the first night we arrived. All I wanted to do was hear everyone talk, but I was out for the count after work and the drive. My mom, who's completely erratic yet sefless, made Jareb and I sleep in her bed. I wrapped up in her sheets and was out like a light. A true testament to my being home.
The entire weekend was meticulously perfect. I got to see my family, my friends and my old team. Brodie's party made me so happy and terribly sad in one day of fun. Time is inevitable. The worst and best thing about this life is that fact.
Leaving my family at the end of this weekend felt nothing short of having a hook in me. The further I drove, the harder it pulled. It's so odd that I've chosen to leave them all. Leave my ministry, which still wakes me up at night (when I fall asleep) with ideas. Leave my family who has done nothing but been living sacrifices so I could have all I want. It's a guilty, strange feeling.
Until after four hours of driving, I see it. Charlotte, the Queen City, sitting up high. It just waves over me. This place makes me feel excited. Still, yes. I still feel excited. Seeing my family will, of course, always make me wonder and think "what if". But when I'm here, I remember how there was nothing left for us there. We were kicked out so fast we didn't have time to wonder about "what if's"! This weekend was the first time! Even if there was room to think twice, we wouldn't have. We had been waiting on this to be our home long before we even knew. Also inevitable.
Charlotte is changing me. My job is changing me. God is changing me. I watch a corny show that says "magic comes with a price". My life here is the magic and leaving everything is the price. It's valuable. It's worth it.
I've been thinking lately of all the things I could never say on a blog. Things I want to say, but need the proper outlets. Memories are being seen as dialogues in my head.